For once it is right, but I’ve no more strength to muster. It’s depleted, left, gone. I’m acutely aware of the destructive influences and, fuck it, I may just give into them. It’s been a long time coming.
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Where To From Here?
Living with the double d’s
March 8th, 2008
This life is so hard. I understand wanting to find a final release I just hope that you can find something to live for even if it’s just for a cool website to see what is new there each day. I know it might sound silly but I do that sort of thing. I often choose to live so that I can see what new cool stuff comes with each passing day. Also fascinating news stories and even my plants. I have a green thumb and feel responsible for their health. I also hang on so that I can help others that I know are hurting from reading their blogs such as yours. Rent a funny movie or listen to some good music. Or maybe treat yourself to a massage or some of your favorite candy or a good book that you’ve been wanting.
I hope you feel better soon. Hang on, you never know what is to come around the corner. I know that often it is more pain but sometimes it is a wonderful gift, or a beautiful day, or a kind word. Sometimes it is the meeting of someone who will utterly change your life for the better. I’m holding your hand friend and wish I could give you a reassuring hug.
The Devil. Who the fuck is the devil anyway. Temptation, addiction, impulsiveness, destructive influences… hmm. Sif. If thats all it takes to be “evil” to be “of the devil”, then heck, perhaps the stupid dumbfuck who once called me so actually wasn’t so dumb after all.
Oh and James is right. Blah blah. Ditto.
I’m just having a bad day, but yeah. James is a smart man, listen to him lol.
btw just to help you out, the devil card can actually mean a change in commitment for the better, or a change in general.